Thursday Afterschool Special: Five-Timer

​Just when you thought Michael Phelps couldn't get better

Critics questioned Phelps' age and wondered if he could possibly compete at the level he had before. He gave his emphatic answer on Wednesday night.

Phelps qualified for his fifth (!) Olympics, making him the only male athlete to ever qualify for five Games. He is joined in history by Zimbabwee's Kirsty Coventry, who also qualified for her fifth Olympics. The two shared the historic moment on Twitter.

Though Michael Phelps strove for eight golds in Greece, he settled for six golds and two bronze.

Getting along swimmingly, Michael Phelps' successes continue to ring true with each broken record dating back to Athens.

In between Olympiads, Maryland native Michael Phelps was a big fish in the NCAA pools of Ann Arbor, Mich..

Seeking circular closure to his goal for eight golds, Michael Phelps emerged as the face of the Beijing Olympics prior to the opening ceremonies.

Michael Phelps got his feet and swimsuit wet before winning his first three events, including the men's 4 x100 freestyle relay.

With eight gold medals hanging from his neck, Michael Phelps posed for SI's exclusive cover portrait after completing his Beijing swim through history.

Michael Phelps graced the cover for the seventh time after he was named the 2008 Sports Illustrated Sportsman Of The Year.

After a voting campaign that reached millions of sports fans across Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, the fans had spoken. Michael Phelps capping off his storied career at the London 2012 Summer Olympics was Sports Illustrated’s 2012 Moment of The Year.

Andrew Luck gets his payday

It was always a forgone conclusion that Luck was going to get paid this offseason. No one knew it was going to be for a kazillion dollars. 

The actual figure actually stands at about $140 million, $87 million of which is guaranteed. That makes him the highest paid player in NFL history and the only quarterback, other than Joe Flacco, to be under contract until 2021.

Maybe he can finally afford some solid facial grooming products so he can stop making commercials like this.

Miguel Sano shows off his heading skills

Is Sano a good baseball player? Yes. Would he make a better soccer player? Eh, his heading skills could use some work.

Sano is finishing up his rehab assignment at Triple-A Rochester, and the Twins will hope that this was just a momentarily lapse. Otherwise, Sano could have a reasonably successful career for Minnesota United in the North American Soccer League. 

NHL Twitter almost crashes the internet

Wondering how to summarize the Canadiens in one tweet? We've got your back.

May the Crying Jordan never leave. 

Game of Zones is back to troll Draymond Green

Do you fight for the Cavs?

Cardinals rookie Aledmys Diaz knows how to handle bad luck

Baseball isn't typically a contact sport — unless you're name is Yordano Ventura or Jose Bautista — but sometimes you need a little extra protection. 

After taking a fouled-off ball to the face and then getting hit with a foul ball while sitting in the dugout, St. Louis Cardinals rookie Aledmys Diaz decided he needed some help. 

That decision spawned one of the best images in baseball last night. 

Safety first. 

Today's Peanuts

Photo: Tom Pennington/Getty Images