Sports Figures on The Simpsons

With The Simpsons recently celebrating its 20th anniversary and 450th episode, making it the longest-running prime-time show in television history, SI.com takes a look at every sports figure to make an appearance on the show.Episode: O Brother, Where Bart Thou?First aired: Dec. 13, 2009Memorable moment:During Bart's dream of having a brother, Peyton and Eli are seen throwing footballs through a tire.Peyton: That's a perfect spiral, Eli.Eli: Winning a Super Bowl just doesn't compare to chuckin' the ball around with my brother.Then, brother Cooper Manning shows up.Cooper: It's easy being a winner in the pros. Try winning two high school basketball championships like I did.Eli: Good for you, Squirt.Cooper: I'm the oldest!Peyton (singing): Keep away from Cooper!Cooper (whimpers): Hey!Peyton and Eli play keep away with a football and laugh at Cooper.

Episode: The Great Wife Hope First aired: Oct. 11, 2009Memorable moment:Bart: Sir? Could you sign my program with a swear word?Homer: Uh, yes. Filthy, but obscure, with a subtle scatolgoical undertone.Liddell: Sure, no problem. $25, please.Homer: Pay the man, boy.

Episode: The Burns and the BeesFirst aired: Dec. 7, 2008Memorable moment:Mr. Burns: So, tell me, why don't you recoil from the public like a normal billionaire?Cuban: Hey, why own a basketball team if you're not gonna have any fun?Mr. Burns: Fun? Is that how it's pronounced? I've only seen it written.Cuban: Hold that thought. No one's paid attention to me for ten whole seconds.Cuban proceeds to juggle a basketball, a chainsaw and a Mavs Dancer at center court in front of a cheering crowd.

Episode: Mona Leaves-aFirst aired: May 11, 2008Memorable moment:Lance Armstrong is presenting an award at the ESPYs with Fozzie Bear.Fozzie: Hey Lance, nice trousers. Did you win those at the tour de pants? Wakka wakka!Armstrong (angrily): Yeah, well, I never thought you were funny. Ever!Armstrong picks up Fozzie and throws him off the stage, leaving the puppeteer's arm and hand exposed and mouthing:"Wakka wakka! Wakka wakka?"

Episode: Marge GamerFirst aired: April 22, 2007Memorable moment:Homer becomes a referee at Lisa's soccer games, but repeatedly calls penalties in her favor, until Cleutus and his wife Brandine argue with him about a call on their daughter.Homer: I don't need a soccer lecture from a hillbilly!Cleutus: That's hill-william to you, sir.Ronaldo: How about a lecture from me? Ronaldo.Homer: Ronaldo?! Winner of two World Cups and three FIFA Player of the Year awards?!Ronaldo: Yes, I am what you said. Now I travel the world, exposing floppers. And your daughter is a flopper. Now Ronaldo away!Ronaldo backflips off camera.Brandine: You heard Geraldo.

Episode: Kill Gil (Parts I & 2)First aired: Dec. 17, 2006Memorable moment:Elvis Stojko makes a guest appearance at Krusty's Kristmas on Ice event.Patty: Elvis Stojko is so handsome.Selma (giggling): He can lace up my skates anytime.Moe: Don't you hags know that all male figure skaters are twinkly in the lutz.Stojko: That's a common misconception. I have a girlfriend in Vancouver.Moe: Made up girlfriend, made up city.

Episode: Bart Has Two MommiesFirst aired: March 19, 2006Memorable moment:Ned Flanders attends a Left-Handers Convention and notices the booth for his store, The Leftorium, is set up next to Randy Johnson's booth. Flanders: Oooh, wow, it's the Big Unit himself, Randy Johnson. You've fanned more men than Salome.Johnson: Yeah, I get that a lot. I'm here promoting my new line of left-handed teddy bears. Randy Johnson's Southpawz. This one's a doctor. You can give it to your doctor. Huh? Huh?Flanders: You have one for a mailman?Johnson (getting angry): A bear can't be a mailman. Now how many doctor bears do you want? They come in boxes of a thousand.Flanders (nervously): Ummm, one box.Johnson (towering over Flanders): You and me got a problem!

Episode: Treehouse of Horror XVIFirst aired: Nov. 6, 2005Memorable moment:A spoof of the Most Dangerous Game, with Mr. Burns hunting other characters from Springfiled, appears to be televised with Terry Bradshaw working as a guest analyst for the World Series of Manslaughter.Bradshaw: Well, conventional wisdom says good fleeing will always be good chasing, but the stats say put your money on the guy with the gun.

Episode: Treehouse of Horror XVIFirst aired: Nov. 6, 2005Memorable moment:Dennis Rodman appears near the end of the show as Moe makes a public service announcement for adult illiteracy.Rodman: Together, we can make reading a slam dunk.Moe: Dennis Rodman? What are you doin' here?Rodman: Working off a speeding ticket. Happy Halloween everybody!

Episode: Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass First aired: Feb. 6, 2005 Memorable moment: LeBron: Omelets for dinner? This is the best day of my life.Lisa: Really? Didn't you just sign a $90 million contract? LeBron: Oh yeah. That was a good day too.

Episode: Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass First aired: Feb. 6, 2005 Memorable moment:After scoring a touchdown, Brady rides a segway scooter down the field, saying: "Everyone sucks but me," and dragging a banner that reads the same.

Episode: Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass First aired: Feb. 6, 2005 Memorable moment: After Marge asks Yao to do the dishes, he responds:
''I really don't understand your language.'' [in Mandarin with subtitles] Lisa: Wait a second, I read that you speak excellent English.Yao: Shut up kid, I've got a good thing going here.

Episode: Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass First aired: Feb. 6, 2005 Memorable moment: After a judge gives Kwan a 5.9, she yells "Beware the wrath of Kwan!" before using the blades of her skates to carve a bloody 6.0 on the judge's chest.

Episode: Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass First aired: Feb. 6, 2005 Memorable moment: Sapp: Hey Michelle [Kwan], you got a boyfriend?

Episode: Treehouse of Horror XIVFirst aired: Nov. 2, 2003Memorable moment:Bart and Milhouse possess a stop watch that freezes time, which they use to humiliate the townspeople. When they're discovered, an angry mob chases them down. They freeze time and put a fellow classmate, Martin, in their place. The mob, which includes Oscar De La Hoya, proceeds to beat up Martin.De La Hoya: Dios Mio, this kid is fun to hit!

Episode: Barting Over First aired: Feb. 16, 2003 Memorable moment: Tony hands Homer a skateboard that will help him impress Bart. Tony: This board represents the ultimate in poser technology. It gives people the illusion they have talent. Just lock your feet in and the board does all the work. Homer: All the work?Tony: Fine, I'll lift you onto the board too.Homer: Do it without the attitude or don't do it at all.

Episode: Pray AnythingFirst aired: Feb. 9, 2003Memorable moment:The Simpson family attends a WNBA basketball game at Springfield Square Garden, where a sign reads: "Courtside Seats 30 Cents"Lisa Simpson: Look, that's Lisa Leslie! She showed little girls everywhere that they can grow up to be 6-foot-5.Bart: Lisa Leslie, you got game!Leslie: I think you mean I have game. Try to speak correctly.Bart: You go girl!Leslie: Yes, I will depart, lest your bad grammar rub off on me.

Episode: Helter ShelterFirst aired: Dec. 1, 2002After Homer receives skybox tickets for a hockey game, the family arrives to an over-embellished luxury suite, which includes an artist with palette in hand.Artist (to Bart): Paint your portrait sir?Bart: Can you paint me knockin' out Larry Holmes? Artist: Certainly.The artist snaps his fingers, and Larry Holmes arrives and kneels in front of Bart.Holmes: Don't hit my face.Bart: OK, where do you want it?Holmes: I don't know. Work the stomach.Holmes (after Bart hits him a few times): Mmmm. That takes me back.

Episode: Tennis the Menace First aired: Feb. 11, 2001 Memorable moment: Homer climbs up through the crowd to where the Williams sisters are sitting. Serena: What are you doing?Venus: That's our Dad's seat.Homer: Hey, great. Listen, I need a new doubles partner. My little girl's a lead weight.Serena: You're dumping your own daughter? Homer: Yeah, but only to crush my wife and son.Serena: That's horrible!Venus: Yeah, that's pretty low.Homer: Hmm. You seem less disgusted. Let's go. [Homer grabs Venus by the hand and pulls her toward the court.]

Episode: Tennis the Menace First aired: Feb. 11, 2001 Memorable moment: Agassi: [grabbing Homer's tennis racquet] Yoink! Homer: My tennis stick! [turns to face Agassi] Who are you?Agassi: I'm Andre Agassi.Homer: The wrestler?

Episode: Tennis the Menace First aired: Feb. 11, 2001 Memorable moment: Sampras: C'mon, let's play! I've gotta tape a Ho Hos commercial.

Episode: Brother's Little HelperFirst aired: Oct. 3, 1999Memorable moment: As the townspeople surround a crashed MLB satellite Bart brought down with a tank, fearing it was spying on everyone, Mark McGwire arrives in a helicopter.McGwire: Hi folks! I'm Mark McGwire!Satellite computer voice: Big Mac himself! Who'da thunk it?McGwire: Young Bart here was right, we are spying on you, pretty much around the clock.Bart: But why Mr. McGwire?McGwire: Do you want to know the terrifying truth? Or do you wanna see me sock a few dingers!The crowds yells: Ding-ers! Ding-ers!McGwire hits a ball off into the distance, and as the crowd watches in amazement, he grabs the data printout from the satellite and hides it under his cap.

Episode: Sunday, Cruddy Sunday First aired: Jan. 31, 1999 Memorable moment: Marino runs a ''Catch A Pass'' booth and throws a pass to Bart. Marino: Go long, son.Bart: Yes sir! [Bart runs out and the ball flies through the air] I'm catching a pass from Dan Marino! This is the greatest moment of my... Homer: [intercepts the pass] Woo hoo! Homer Simpson with the pick!Marino: Hey Bubba, Hacksaw! Get that moron!Homer: [being chased] Uh oh! Lateral to Bart! [the goons tackle him anyway] My spine!

Episode: Sunday, Cruddy Sunday First aired: Jan. 31, 1999 Memorable scene: Ned Flanders sits at a caricature booth run by Troy Aikman. Aikman: So, Ned, do you like dune buggies? Ned: Well, it's not my cup of... Aikman: Sure you do! Everyone likes dune buggies!Aikman draws Ned riding in a dune buggy, just as he's done everyone else who's come to his booth, some samples of which hang on the wall.

Episode: Sunday, Cruddy Sunday First aired: Jan. 31, 1999 Memorable moment: Having not been to church yet, Ned Flanders is directed to ''Rosey Grier's Porta-Chapel'', where several people have gathered to hear a sermon. Grier: And that the wandering Oakland Raiders may someday find a home, Lord, hear our prayer. Can I get an amen to that? Congregation: Amen!

Episode: Sunday, Cruddy Sunday First aired: Jan. 31, 1999 Memorable moment: Madden and Summerall discuss their opinion of the episode at the end of the show. Summerall: Did it strike you as odd that in a Super Bowl show with Dolly Parton we didn't see any football or singing?Madden: I hadn't thought about it Pat, but in retrospect, it was kind of a rip-off! What a way to treat the loyal fans, who put up with so much nonsense from this franchise. Summerall: Any final thoughts?Madden: Nah, I'm too mad, let's get the heck out of here!

Episode: Bart Star First aired: Nov. 9, 1997 Memorable moment: As the episode, centralized around pee-wee football, comes to an end, Namath says to the camera: ''You know, we had a lot of fun tonight. But, there's nothing funny about... vapor lock. It's the third most common cause of stalling. So please, take care of your car and get it checked.
I'm Joe Namath. Good night.''

Episode: $pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)First aired: Dec. 16, 1993A sign reads: "GERRY COONEY Official Greeter of Mr. Burns Casino" during the grand opening.Cooney (greeting Otto): Hello, I'm retired heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney. Welcome to Mr. Burns Casino. If there's anything I can do to make your visit more enjoyable, please, just let me know.Otto (walking away): Yeah, great. See ya.Cooney (stopping Otto): Uh, don't forget to apply for our VIP Platinum Club for special discounts on...Otto (pushing Cooney away): Hey! I said bug off!Otto lands a right hook to Cooney's face. Cooney stands dazed for a second and falls down.

Episode: Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?First aired: Aug. 27, 1992(Also appeared inEpisode: Homer's Paternity CootFirst aired: Jan. 8, 2006)After announcing Homer as the winner of the Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence, Joe Frazier has a beer with a depressed Homer at Moe's Tavern.Homer: I miss my couch.Frazier: I know how you feel. You lost a couch. I lost a heavyweight championship.Homer (scoffs): Heavyweight championship. There's like three of those. That couch was one of a kind.Frazier: Homer, I know things are tough now. But one day, you'll be walking along, and you'll see a piece of furniture you can love just as much.Barney: Hey Frazier, shut up!Frazier (getting angry): Barney, you've been ridin' my back all night.Barney: Oh yeah! Care to step outside?!Frazier: Let's do it.The two exit the bar and before the door can swing shut, blood from Barney hits the door. As Homer exits the bar, he sees Barney upside down in a trash can exclaiming: "Alright, a peanut!

Episode: Homer at the Bat First aired: Feb. 20, 1992 Memorable moments: Homer: You're Darryl Strawberry. Strawberry: Yes? Homer: You play right field. Strawberry: Yes? Homer: I play right field too. Strawberry: So?Homer: Well, are you better than me? Strawberry: Well, I never met you, but...yes.Strawberry takes right field in the championship game. Lisa: You stink Strawberry! We want Home Run Homer! Bart: Darrrryl! Darrrryl!Bart & Lisa: Darrrryl! Darrrryl!Marge: Children, that's not very nice.
Lisa: Mom, they're professional athletes. They're used to this sort of thing. It rolls right off their back. [Strawberry sheds a tear.]

Episode: Homer at the Bat First aired: Feb. 20, 1992 Memorable moment: After being told repeately by Mr. Burns to trim his non-existent sideburns, Mattingly arrives with his sideburns shaved up to the top of his head. Mr. Burns: Mattingly! I thought I told you to trim those sideburns! Go home! You're off the team! For good!Mattingly: Fine. [To himself] I still like him better than Steinbrenner.

Episode: Homer at the Bat First aired: Feb. 20, 1992 Memorable moment: After drinking a spoonful of brain & nerve tonic. Griffey: Wow, it's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's invited.[Griffey proceeds to chug the bottle.]

Episode: Homer at the Bat First aired: Feb. 20, 1992 Memorable moment: After Mr. Burns posts the list of players who made the team. Homer: Clemens, did I make the team?Clemens: You sure did.Homer: I did! Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! In your face Strawberry!Clemens: Wait a minute, are you Ken Griffey Jr.? Homer: No. Clemens: Sorry, didn't mean to get your hopes up.

Episode: Homer at the Bat First aired: Feb. 20, 1992 Memorable moment: While at an autograph session, Canseco is approached by Mr. Smithers, who is recruiting ringers for the company softball team. Canseco: I get $50,000 to play one game?Smithers: That's right Mr. Canseco.Canseco: Well, it's a pay cut, but what the hey. It sounds like fun.

Episode: Homer at the Bat First aired: Feb. 20, 1992 Memorable moment: Scioscia, working at the nuclear power plant, pushes a wheelbarrow of glowing green ooze. Carl: [pulls up beside him with his own wheelbarrow] Hey Scioscia, I don't get it. You're a ringer, but you're here every night in the core, busting your butt hauling radioactive waste.Scioscia: Well Carl, it's such a relief from the pressures of big league ball. I mean, there, you make any kind of mistake, and boom, the press is all over you. [Scioscia then accidentally spills the waste] Uh oh.Carl: Ah, don't worry about it.Scioscia: Oh man, is this ever sweet.

Episode: Homer at the Bat First aired: Feb. 20, 1992 Memorable moment: Smith pays a visit to the ''Springfield Mystery Spot.'' Smith: How long does it take to see this thing. I'm kind of in a hurry. Proprietor: Well, it's hard to say my friend. Once you go in, you may never come out.Smith: Wow! One please.[He buys a ticket and goes in. We hear a falling scream from Ozzie.]

Episode: Homer at the Bat First aired: Feb. 20, 1992 Memorable moment: Drinking at Moe's Tavern. Barney: And I say, England's greatest Prime Minister was Lord Palmerston!Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!!Barney: Lord Palmerston!!!Wade Boggs: Pitt the Elder!!!! [pokes Barney] Barney: Okay, you asked for it Boggs! [punches him out]

Episode: Homer at the Bat First aired: Feb. 20, 1992 Memorable moment: Sax gets pulled over while driving slowly down a nice neighborhood. Sax: What seems to be the problem officers? Officer Eddie: That's enough out of you smart guy. Officer Lou: [pointing his gun] Reach for your license...[cock's gun] slowly.Officer Eddie: Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City. Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case, but you wouldn't know anything about that, would you Steve? [the officers laugh] Sax: But there's hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you Saxy boy?